To those seeking counsel for situations in their lives, the
question must be asked: What kind of counsel are you receiving? Is it focused
on you and your problems or on Christ and His Life?
Many individuals seek help from a wide variety of counselors
and therapists today. How do they differ? What is a Christ-centered biblical
approach?
The following is a brief example of the counsel that we
share at CrossLife Ministries. Whether in person or via the internet, Skype, text,
email or phone calls, we communicate the love of Christ in the context of a
non-condemning message of grace.
Recently a Christian leader inquired, “How does one deal
with anger issues,” which he struggled with, and which on occasion would lead
to rage affecting his marriage and ministry.
He had received “Christian counseling” that focused on
psychologically understanding himself better, and in particular his emotions. He
was counseled that the root of his problem was emotional. The counseling was
directed at helping him to better understand his emotions/feelings, so that he
might be able to discern what those feelings were intended for, and then
give them a healthy expression rather than unhealthy expressions.
It was suggested to him that he would need long-term
addiction counseling to conquer this problem, and that the counseling and
therapy would be directed primarily toward dealing with “emotional pain.” By
getting “in touch” with his emotional pain, he would allegedly find the answer
to dealing with his addiction to rage.
He contacted me after having received this counsel, asking
if I would advise him to continue in the therapy, and whether I though
additional counsel would be helpful. (The
treatment for 3 days had cost $5,000.00 and he was now being advised to do a
nine-month program, which I am not sure of the cost?).
In sharing my response, it is hoped that others will realize
that Christ and Christ alone is sufficient for every problem we have or will
face, and that unless we receive a revelation of Christ as our life we will
never learn to live in victory regardless of our struggle with behavioral
dysfunction.
A CrossLife response:
Dear _________
As helpful as learning to express your emotions might be,
and learning you’re not the only one with emotional challenges, and as a result
there is not something wrong with you, there is more, "...much more, …we
shall be saved by His life" (Romans 5:10).
True “life” experience is more than psychological
functionality – knowing how to sort out all your thoughts and feelings and
expressions (of the will). Important as that is, if that is the primary basis (and
function) of who you are, it all depends upon YOU (learning to express your
feelings), rather than Christ as your life and learning to walk by faith in
spite of your feelings.
There is a HUGE contrast in the focal point between
humanism and Christianity. In humanism man is the center, "the point of
reference," (therefore everything depends on him – YOU); in Christianity –
Christ is the center (everything depends on God). There is nothing wrong with
feelings (God created you an emotional creature); they are always indicators of
what you are thinking and potentially believing (that however is a choice).
It's fine to allow Christ to reveal your soulical "variations” and why you
have felt the way you have felt (understanding rejective memories), (why you
rage, get angry, and what you use to mask your "addiction", alcohol),
but understanding who you are in Christ and learning to function in your
identity is not centered on yourself or your psychological feelings, or even
your flesh patterns of dependency. Yes, let Christ help you process them,
identify false thinking i.e. lies, but then choose to allow His truthful
revelation, hearing His voice rather than "the voice of the emotions,"
remind you of “who you are” and “how you are to behave” consistent with the
character of Christ as your life expresses your true identity.
The safe place
you felt (counseling center, counseling approach or counselor) should never be
seen in a “person or place" other than Christ Himself (do not attribute
the work of God to a process or place apart from Christ as the means of grace).
If your "mind" focuses on anything other than Jesus as the source of
your feeling safe, you are focusing on an idol. The greatest idolatry is
humanism (self-reference), regardless how man has explained it or couched it.
Identity is focused on who God is and who He created you to be, and you have to
allow Him and His character to be your chosen expressions of behavior.
No one can teach you how to walk by faith and no one can imitate God’s
character. Faith is the receptivity of God's activity. Faith is you hearing God
and participating with His grace activity. Faith is you allowing for His
character to be acted out through you even when you feel like “raging”. Faith
is learning to "touch" the “unseen” and eternal, not your emotions.
Because all you have known is an emotionally fleshly reaction to the seen which
focused on circumstances. Walking by faith is an “unseen reality” of Christ as
your life. Until you choose to depend on Christ in the moment (faith) and
experience His character of grace, the fruit of the spirit, love joy,
gentleness, kindness, understanding and the Godly control of self, you will
most likely continue to walk after the flesh which has been angry and full of rage.
That's why Paul wrote, “we walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7).
You need to be careful that psychological counseling does
not cause you to become more self-conscious than you already are. Biblical
Christ-centered healthy counseling or therapy should always cause you to walk
away more Christ conscious (in awe and in worth-ship of Him) rather than self-conscious
(soulically conscious or emotionally conscious). The problem is that you can and
have become much more in touch with your soul than your spirit. Being a
Christ-one is not primarily a psychological reality. Man has always focused on
the soul, rather than the spirit, on your thinking, your emotions, and your
will, which you are far more familiar with than you are the spirit realm
(unseen). It is vitally important to “listen under” (the meaning of New
Testament – “obedience”) the Spirit of Christ and what He is saying to you.
Nothing should substitute “hearing the voice of God” and walking by faith (John
10:27 “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me”). Christ is
your life – NOT a better understanding of your emotions and how to relate to
them.
It is a matter of your "Point of Reference." Who is the
beginning point; who is the starting point; who is the pivot point – Christ or
your emotions? Christ
is the Alpha and Omega, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end” (Rev. 22:13). Christ
is to be the basis of your functioning spiritually, psychologically and
physiologically as He intended – NOT you’re best effects to understand yourself
emotionally or your best effects not to rage again.
Jesus
said, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give
you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in
heart, and you will find rest for
your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light”
(Matthew 11:28-30).
I hope these thoughts prove to be helpful
as God in Christ Jesus reveals Himself to you, as He is your only ability
to experience LIFE. Keep in touch.
Your brother in Christ, Don Burzynski,
CrossLife Counseling,
Vero Beach, Florida
© 2015 Don Burzynski
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